I WILL NOT CURSE MY FIRE ... NOR WILL I TREAT IT WITH DISDAIN!!!

For in the valley of tears, of works, of determination of perseverance and pain ...THERE IS VICTORY!!!

VICTORY EARNED INDEED!!! AND I AM FEELING VICTORIOUS RIGHT ABOUT NOW...

The fire can also be a blessing ... in this case lets refer to my WLS as my fire and my blessing ... and I WILL NOT CURSE IT NOR TREAT IT WITH DISDAIN!!!

I give kudos to those willing to implement lifestyle changes and follow through on a regimented program that guarantees weight loss success with a procedure designed to eliminate morbid obesity and related diseases associated with it.  Why go through all the pain and the process to treat such wonderful tools with disdain? or why even encourage others to do the same? If one is so happy with obesity in terms of look, feel and related illnesses why even bother going under the knife? Stay the way you are and be happy I am all the more happier for you ... why can't you be happy for me or at least keep the veiled crap that those who can discern can see to yourself? Why subject oneself to such drastic measures and be disdainful afterwards? I suggest letting those willing to work towards accomplishment, maintenance and long term success be ... it is all good... it is all about choices ... if your choice makes you happy be HAPPY ... if my choices make me happy hey that is why I chose them....  I mean we are all informed of the risks, benefits and alternatives to these procedures and we sign an informed consent that allows our surgeon to proceed... so what has changed between the research phase... the seminars... the prep ... the surgery and life post-operatively ?

We were so willing to take the risks and willing to enjoy the benefits as the weight rolled off our bodies effortlessly "or so some claim" during that first year of post-operative life.... I have to ask WHAT HAPPENED THEN? what happened to the great desire and expectation to be healthy? and WHY ... oh WHY when we were informed and advised to take that first year of 'honeymooning' and losing drastic poundage to IMPLEMENT LIFESTYLE CHANGES ... WHAT HAPPENED? DID WE FORGET? WHY THE DISDAIN? AND WHY MOCKERY OF OTHERS WHO HAVE DECIDED TO FOLLOW-THROUGH WITH THE REGIMEN AND THE PROMISES AND EXPECTATIONS MADE AT THE TIME THE CONSENT WAS SIGNED TO GO UNDER THE KNIFE?

I for one did not forget and WILL NOT forget ... I made a commitment to myself to live healthy for however many years remain of my life .... I went under the knife full of expectations ... of preset goals ... of a vision of returning to my former healthy self when I stepped off the boat and landed in America weighing a scant 98 pounds wet and I was not even a teenager .... I was 22 years of age... I knew myself the way I am now and at my current age, having been given a second opportunity at a better quality of life without diabetes, without hypertension, without gastroesophageal reflux. without dyslipidemia and without a CPAP machine for sleep apnea MAKE THE SOUND DETERMINATION NOT TO EVER GO BACK TO THAT STATE ... I AM COMMITTED TO LIFE AND QUALITY OF LIFE...

I for one felt the pain of painful buckling joints that impaired my mobility.. I remember the fear of having been diagnosed with non-insulin dependent diabetes mellitus ... I remember worrying about my blood pressure and whether I forgot to take my Toprol XL or not ... I remember hypercholesterolemia, and dyslipidemia, and having a fatty infiltrated liver.... I remember the mask of the CPAP machine to help with the sleep apnea ... I remember panicking if I was low on Nexium for my gastroesophageal reflux disease and and and .... when I look back I REMEMBER THE FEEL OF CO-MORBIDITIES AND I DO NOT LIKE IT! I REFUSE TO GO BACK THERE ... I SIGNED AN INFORMED CONSENT AND UNDERWENT A PROCEDURE TO GET RID OF THOSE JOKERS AND TO LIVE BETTER ... I RELIEVED MY KNEES OF THE EXCESS WEIGHT ... AND CAN RUN AND JUMP AND HOP FREELY TODAY ... WHY WOULD I WANT TO GO BACK? THERE IS NOTHING IN THAT PLACE OF MORBID OBESITY OR RELATED CO-MORBIDITIES CALLING MY NAME ... BECAUSE IT IS A PLACE TO WHICH I SHALL NOT RETURN... MY CHOICE ... MY COMMITTMENT... MY DETERMINATION... MY GOALS SET FOR ME! DON'T MESS WITH ME!...

The good thing about the entire situation is that the regimen is so accommodating that just by keeping consciousness in making healthy choices and incorporating exercise to one's daily routine .. something that is done by otherwise normal people who have not undergone any type of weight loss surgery... one has guaranteed success ...

There are tons of awesome tasty meals to be had ... there are equally tons of exercise modalities that one can engage in... the choices are wide and variable ... there is no need to feel deprived or sad over GOOD CHOICES ...

I WILL NOT CURSE MY TOOL AND I WILL NOT TREAT IT WITH DISDAIN ... I WILL WORK WITH IT AND ME TO BE AND CONTINUE TO BE WHERE I AM TODAY AND TRUST I AM LOVING IT! I NEVER HAD THIS MUCH FUN AND EXPOSURE IN MY LIFE ... MY LATER DAYS AND BETTER THAN MY FORMER INDEED ...

I WILL NOT CURSE MY FIRE! THERE IS VICTORY IN THE VALLEY ... ... I AM VICTORIOUS!!!! 4 years and 3 months post RNY gastric bypass surgery I am holding every bit of 203 pounds lost and yes I am saying it because I mean it GONE FOR -EVER! for I will not allow them to return .. I have a tool now ... I have modalities ... I have implemented lifestyle changes and I LOVE LOVE LOVE the look and the feel of post-operative life without weight related illnesses or conditions that cramped my style ... I REFUSE TO GO BACK ... I used my honeymoon period to my greatest advantage ... I worked the weight off by implementing the necessary lifestyle changes (healthy choices and exercise) and waaaaay before the year was up I was of a normal weight and at the lower range of a normal BMI ..by PERSONAL CHOICE... I wanted for when the honeymoon was over to emerge changed for a lifetime of maintenance LONG TERM ... and I will do all that is in my power to keep this because it feels good to be out of the place of physical pain and health challenges ... and I will not lie.... This sista loves to look and while feeling great too!

My journal entry today...


and while I struggled with allergies I forgot to log my journal pictures ... I wore a kaki skirt set a couple days ago....


and although I give away most of my clothes to make room for more (heck I sew most of them) I always keep a few favorites so I can compare ...

Comparison picture me in 2009 2 years post up ... VS me in 2011 4 years post-operatively wearing the same outfit ... different hairstyle same fit ... between 51 and 53 years of age I have no wrinkles on my face ... I have a slender body ... and I have not gained 1 pound over my maintenance goal weight.. in fact I am maintaining lower than I should right now...